Hopeless & Fearful

Hopelessness is a lie from the pit of hell, and it leaves nothing behind but death and destruction in its track. Though one might find themselves in the midst of its ugly grip and taunting lies I speak life and truth – if you let Christ guide your life, you will not stumble in darkness.

If you ever wondered what fear is, it’s a feeling that once fully grown has a life of its own. I share from experience that it merely starts as an imagination, notion or doubt that festers, and with each feeding of belief in the untruth it morphs into an oppressing blackness in which you find impossible to free from.

What’s most perplexing is that once engulfed in the black heaviness of fear many things that came easily are a struggle. Smiling is nonexistent, finding the beauty in anything or realizing a blessing is scarce, and hope is dead. There is nothing to look forward to, except more of the same hopeless thoughts brimming with fear and the dismal dark future.

Marked as a Believer I was. Still, I was not cultivating my relationship with God diligently. I was careless and my spiritual tank empty. The enemy took full advantage of my spiritual predicament and planted one thought.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2

Thoughts enter and exit every hour of every day, that’s not the issue, rather it is what value we place on the thought and the choice to build it up or tear it down. When one is full of faith encouraging ourselves in scripture is not a bother nor is it challenging to tear down lies. Quite the opposite, when you are not grounded in the Word of God or spiritually weak because a thought can fester, and lead to death -- the death of dreams, relationships, eternal spiritual death, and for some the snuffing out of their light and others. It’s tragic to consider that hopelessness and fear can lead to unthinkable acts.

I’m battle tested and a survivor in my private struggle to find joy. And when given an opportunity, I speak up with the courage to motivate my audience to hold on and let the Holy Spirit lead. I tell all with zeal that Jesus rescued me from that hellish state of being, and grateful that I am free indeed. Nevertheless, I am not neglectful to share additional portions to include crippling fear, ugly incidents, emotional pain, and trusting God to give others more when I was in need. While the world told me to take time for me and seek restitution from the person(s) who have wronged me, Jesus asked that I surrender to His plan, forgive, and give selflessly. The work was deep and intense, yet necessary. In exchanging my ashes for God’s beauty, I found grace for myself and others. Then the shift began, “and the light shined in the darkness,” hope birthed and faith renewed. No longer did I feed the lies, on the contrary, I was more willing to cling to hope that does not disappoint—Jesus, the Son of God. I came to the comforting realization that my worst-case scenario in life held no weight to the glory and goodness I had in Jesus. He was my all and all!

I aspire to grow with each season of life and that dark period marked in months, years ago, was no exception. To date, the most challenging and rewarding as the Holy Spirit - a gentle helper - guided my every step, along with the support of many laborers and their prayers to give me a surer footing and hope for a brighter tomorrow.

“In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.” John 1:4-5

Life Application Study Bible: The darkness of evil never has and never will overcome or extinguish God’s light. Jesus Christ the Creator of Life, and his life brings light to mankind. In His light, we see ourselves as we really are (sinners in need of a Savior). When we follow Jesus, the true Light, we can avoid walking blindly and falling into sin. He lights the path ahead of us so we can see how to live. He removes the darkness of sin from our lives. Have you allowed the light of Christ to shine into your life? Let God guide your life, and you’ll never need to stumble in darkness.

Update: I thank God that in 2018 I have a testimony #FaithHopeCourage as a disciple of Jesus Christ and active in the ministry since 2012.

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