Chapter: Broken

Broken a chapter from my struggles book written in 2010 that was edited and tweaked along the way but finding its debut here. And this second of three important posts and a prelude to what's coming -- a testimony on Nan Jones' #FaithNotes.

God is in control. I have surrendered, waited patiently, kept silent and obedient {sometimes} without full understanding, trusting, and seen the finger of God in and on my life. Even this hour, He is moving mountains for me, and I don't question His methods. He is omnipotent -- all powerful -- and there is none like Him. I know that He's heard my cry and will deliver me from all my troubles.

So, what are you doing about your situation? Get on your knees and pray, press in, persevere and be patient. God is working out that mess right into a message—if you are willing. Being able is not the issue for you, but it's your will that needs sanctifying. Your will must be broken and in its place, the will of the Lord for you and through you.

For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
Philippians 1:21  


Born out of struggle—it is not the route I would have chosen, or maybe I did. At this point, it is too late to argue that it would have served the world and me better for another’s path for righteousness sake. I will take it like a big girl and keep the faith because I “glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope" (Romans 5:3-4).

God knows all about me. He knows my strengths and weaknesses, what I struggle with, and what comes easy. He knows those things that tempt me, and those areas I am living out righteously. There is nothing hidden from Him. Nothing.

Even though He knows my whole life story, even those parts written, yet not in motion; He persists that my life is a testament to His goodness. I should be a breathing walking prayer—every test leading to a testimony and every mess having a message.

God is interested in my long-range good. He is not a Band-Aid kind of god. Fill that hole or stitch that wound and be done. He is committed to the complete and finished work of making me whole and healed. Meanwhile, bringing me to the end of myself—fully surrendered and emptied for God to convict, set free, and empower.

Whenever I give a “Yes, Lord!” I am prepared for the arduous work ahead.

I heard a preacher say that if you have a critical spirit, stop— and praise God for your blessings. This takes the focus off the negative and accentuates the positive! An anonymous prayer says it best, “God if I can't have what I want, let me want what I have.”

As I stumble through the spiritual growth process of Jesus producing the good fruit in my thoughts, will, and actions, I considered an experiment called the 7 Days of Thankfulness. It was an action under the obedience of the Holy Spirit to honor my husband for seven days with a heart full of thankfulness and words that build him up. When I finished my seven-day challenge, I had a small bundle of index cards wrapped in jute. The added whimsical scrolls to the title card were a needed feminine touch that offset the stark black-and-white printed cards. It was a fetching pile of truth and life-giving for me as well. I lingered in the memories as I recalled what was good, and doubted the dreadful current eclipse.

Tweet: I lingered in the memories as I recalled what was good, and doubted the dreadful current eclipse. @cupgoodness http://bit.ly/2yHQ9Jt

From the beginning, I could see a heart change as I redirected the focus on what makes my husband the perfect man for me. I made it my will to take every negative thought captive to the obedience of Christ* while making room for love, grace, and thankfulness. It brought about a shift in my attitude and behavior, which moved me in the direction of who God knows that I am—wonderfully and fearfully made, and loving selflessly without keeping a record of wrongs.

While the world says one thing about how we should love, God's take is that love is sacrificial—agape love. Though it is not always reciprocated, and maybe at times rejected, we must put on love**. This is what He expects as we mature in our faith. It is a tall order, but we can and must do it.

This challenge is not something that will fix a horrible relationship or make a good one better overnight. Yet, it can push you through the darkness, resulting in a shift towards progress.

As we practice bringing our critical thinking under the authority of God's truth while being thankful for the gift of one another, we can see God at work transforming us. I pray the 7 Days of Thankfulness challenge is the start of your restoration from broken dreams and promises. Let the Holy Spirit speak to your heart, exposing the lies you believed and unveiling His truth. Surrender yourself to the possibility that you could be mistaken, and trust God for your tomorrow. I see you in the future, and you look (and feel) a lot better than you do right now!

 *2 Corinthians 10:4-6 (MSG) Tearing Down Barriers We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

**Colossians 3:12-14 (MSG) So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

This chapter may not be reproduced in any form by any means not all inclusive to digital copies or downloads, reprints, excerpts, scanning or recording without express permission from the author.

There is nothing wasted in Christ. Even our pit experiences give way to greatness in Him because we are refined like gold through the process. It will be His reflection in all manner and likeness. Where we're going, we must be prepared.

Being confident of this very thing, 
that He who has begun a good work in you
will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. 
Philippians 1:6

Read my interview with Nan Jones author of The Perils of a Pastor's Wife.



I heard early this morning from the Lord in a still small voice when I was yet awake, and He has added as I write.

May the Lord continue to speak Truth to His people.

They are not prepared for what’s coming. They have made a mockery of me, my name and my ministry. They are busy building, but not of my kingdom. They are busy getting married but with no commitment to me and my ministry. They are busy having children and, yet they are not bearing children in the Spirit. They have lost their way, and soon I will return to reckon every man to myself. You are either for me or against me. In the latter days, there will be a great falling away, and there will only be a few that will follow the ancient paths. The rest have fallen under deceit and deception of those who are presiding over them. They have led them astray. It is best for every man and woman to search the scriptures and find the Truth and to eat of it night and day. To know that this is my Word and in it there’s no falsehood. They will receive the Truth and be able to discern what the good way is. Let my people be forewarned there is coming a great falling away and woe to him that is caught in that snare and deceived for in him there is no chance of escaping my wrath. 

This is a recurring Word. The Lord is relentless. Hear what the Spirit of the Lord is saying.

In the early part of this year, I posted “I AM COMING BACK WITH A VENGEANCE!” God is pouring out His wrath and being saved and sanctified is your only hope in these Last Days before the second coming of Christ because He is sure to reckon every man unto Himself.

Hear and heed. Follow the ancient paths.


Hold Fast the Confession

I’m pleading with most to take a good look inside and tell me what you see. Is Jesus Christ Lord in your life?

The Father’s heart is stirring in me to speak and bring attention that many do not hold fast their confession. They put a bow on it and put it in a box. It’s a showpiece to bring out. An heirloom to remember. An experience from long past that has dimmed and tarnished. It’s even hard for them to recall and so they’ve placed it neatly on the shelf of their heart with other reminders when it should have prominent placement and with them daily so that the zeal for the Lord and His mission they would partake in every instance to proclaim and profess Jesus Christ.

Both spoken and written are prophetic messages that would stir your heart, turn that flicker into a flame, and possibly restore your faith to one that stands out for Jesus rather than fits in. Don’t compromise, Saints! To get from God, you’ll need to give up some stuff—and I don’t mean material things, although that would be beneficial to get your desire off small idols that may be a hindrance to your spiritual growth.

God is speaking.

Check this out on Chirbit
They {Believers in 2017} have succumbed to the way of thinking that this okay and pleasing in my sight—when I revile such behavior, to pollute my people with lies and garbage. They have given way to modern ways {teaching, methods, and habits} when the ancient paths are good and true and right. They have succumbed to the plague of wanting more and living more. There’s no contentment just to be and listen to the Holy Spirit. To be in His presence to receive. They want lights, cameras, videos to stimulate, but there’s no change. It’s all an empty experience. They shout. They cry. They even confess, but there’s no change. They have sold out for something that’s worldly and familiar in the church and forsaken the ancient paths that are right, true and good.

We are to hold fast our faith and the ancient paths for they are pure and pleasing to the Father.

Thus says the Lord: 

“Stand in the ways and see, 
And ask for the old paths, where the good way is, 
And walk in it; Then you will find rest for your souls. 
But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’ 
Jeremiah 6:16


Keep Silent

Keep silent, no really, He means what He says. Don't try to analyze it over. It means just what it says.

When God is speaking, I listen. When He's teaching me, I yield to the Holy Spirit. I'm not immune to correction. I'm a sheep that needs a good poke or prod every now and again, especially if I'm traveling with my Lord through unfamiliar territory or rough terrain. I know I can trust Him because like a good Shepherd, He cares for my safety, well-being, and success in reaching my destination.

Look for an upcoming post Broken that is a chapter from my struggles book. No, I'm not releasing the title. It needs a little tweaking and perhaps one or two more stories, but I'm in no rush. It's all in His hands. My testimony is not about me or my message. It's about the Lord and His Gospel as a whole -- Genesis to Revelation -- and how it changed my life, and continues to. I'm in awe that He chose to use a regenerated spirit of an unlikely woman like me to do His bidding. But that's like Him, "to use the foolish things." (1 Corinthians 1:27) Nothing more. Nothing less.

Jesus has done so much for me and through me, and yet, I still lean on Him daily for strength and resolution through His Word when my reality is screaming different. For some months now the Lord is guiding me gently on keeping silent in regards to my marriage, particularly with my husband. It's not easy for me. At all. But I noticed it's easier if I have something to gain, but if it's just to be silent, that's hard work and takes an exercise in humbling myself before God, not my husband. Because obedience is better than sacrifice! (1 Samuel 15:22)

Here's motivational Truth in God's Word and practical insight from the Lord's well to help us keep silent when our spouse is making mistakes or about to fall.

When God is teaching me, my eyes are opened and my ears attentive to the Lord.


It's Not Over!

While I was not yet awake, I heard the Spirit of the Lord,
It's not over until it's over.

Don't get weary in doing good. Wait on the Lord. Seek the Lord while He may be found. You need to be patient, persevere, press in and pray. For in due time you shall reap a harvest. Don't settle and cling to false hope that doesn't deliver a permanent fix for your situation. God has an answer! Read the scriptures. Hold on! Let desperation give way to grace that you may be built up in faith to stand against the wiles of the enemy. If God is for you who then can be against you?! God has a solution! He has an answer! Wait on the Lord!


When Jesus walked the earth, He was compelled and moved with compassion to heal the afflicted. Whatever is afflicting you today God has an answer. He has a solution. You are not overlooked or forgotten. Give your care to the Lord! While you’re waiting, know that Jesus was afflicted and stricken, and even then, he looked toward the cross that was before Him knowing the joy beyond that.

He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
Yet He opened not His mouth;
He was led as a lamb to the slaughter,
And as a sheep before its shearers is silent,
 So He opened not His mouth.
He was taken from prison and from judgment,
And who will declare His generation?
For He was cut off from the land of the living;
For the transgressions of My people He was stricken.
Isaiah 53:7-8

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

And how can we follow such an example you ask? Through faith! Let this trouble though only for a little while be working in you a greater measure of faith as you find the Lord on your knees. And for some of you, this means literally in your midnight hour, feel the earth beneath you as you cry out to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Come to Him all that are weary and heavy laden, and He will give you rest.

Jesus is speaking to you! He’s speaking to your affliction! It’s not over until it’s over!
© Cup of Goodness. Made with love by The Dutch Lady Designs.